Indian hospitality = soft paunch

So here in Lucknow (or for that matter anywhere in India), people show their love by feeding you what they wish and when they wish it. My parents, quite unlike me, have a huge friend circle. So any evening, they will just decide to go to some random friend’s house, and force me to come along with them. They won’t call them, just drop unannounced and still be welcomed with open arms and hearts (yes, this still happens in Lucknow). After we have sat down and all the inquiries about my MBA life( food, laundry, teaching, toilets, placements and even my electives) have been made, the lady of the house will suddenly realize that we need to be fed ( No madam, we don’t come from African jungles but still...) . So after much protesting from my parents, stuff will be brought in, sometimes home-cooked and sometimes from outside, tea will be made and we will be served. My parents taste everything (when I ask why you guys protest against bringing stuff when you had to gobble it all...they say that when it was served with such love what we can least do is eat it) and praise everything( even if it tastes like hell). Since it has received praise, second serving, though not required, is inevitable. After eating and talking for two hours, it dawns upon my mother that dinner time is approaching and we need to go home. So, after coming out of the house, another thirty minutes are spent chatting on the threshold, outside the gate. So, when we reach home after 3 hours, the visit is analysed and comments made. Most of the times, my parents conclude it was ‘an evening well spent’. I just eat ‘churan’ and pick up a book.

This addiction might get cured...

Total no. of channels that come on my TV = 70
No. of news channels = 15
No. of sports channels = 5
( Clearly the cable TV was invented by men)
No. of channels in languages I don’t understand = 10
No. of local channels (invariably showing crappy movies with so many ads blotched over them that movie is hardly visible) = 5
No. of channels meant for kids = 5
No. of music channels = 2
No. of channels about religion = 10
No. of channels showing sitcoms (in which women cry/plot/sleep bejeweled and men argue and families dance on movie songs) = 8
No. of movie channels( Hindi ones have 10 minutes long breaks & English ones, apart from showing highly censored versions of movies have summer action marathons running) = 10

No. of times per day I fight over the control of remote control = 20
No. of wins per day (on average) = 15
No. of times I have cursed while watching TV = Ummm...think I have lost count.

Why I love reading Vikram Seth...

Oh! I really love whatever this man writes...He is one of the few writers who is extremely honest with his work. His writing is simple, words common and thoughts well put down. There are no high-strung phrases or unnecessary idioms. Just plain English which touches the heart deep enough to make you feel you are a part of whatever he writes. Whether it is ‘A suitable boy’, ‘The Golden Gate’ or ‘An equal music’, one feels one personally knows the characters in his books. Today, I finished reading his recent book—Two Lives. It’s a dual biography of his great uncle and aunt. It is set at the backdrop of WW II and the misfortunes borne by Jews. But the book is not a tragedy. Yes it is heart rendering at times but it also has its light moments. While going through the book, it makes you laugh, cry, feel angry and also extremely satisfied. And such is the case with life too.

If it wasn't there at all...

I have never understood wars over religion. Maybe because I have never been through one. Maybe because I always had a roof over my head, hot food to eat and enough clothes to choose from. Maybe because I never had to put a full stop to my dreams and wait for my death. All this might have happened had I been born a Jew, a Muslim, a Sikh at a specific period in human history. Whenever I read about World War II (like in Two Lives or The diary of a young girl), it breaks my heart. Is religion more important than life? Or is acquisition of power more important than religion? Maybe Jesus Christ was a Jew and The Bible was edited as per the whims of people in power. Maybe humans for meant to follow a single religion or none at all. But, who cares? Today, I read that the only Hindu temple in Lahore was demolished. How does it matter? Around twelve years back, a mosque was demolished. So many lives were lost and all that people cared about was a demolished building and the ensuing politics of power. Its faith of people which makes these structures places of worship. So even if there were neither mosques nor temples, faith would survive. Even if there were no idols or Holy books, people will still pray. I do. I don’t believe in religion, idol worship or Holy Books. But I have faith and most of my prayers are answered. People say their religion gives them an internal control and power, a reason for being, a platform to get close to their God. I think that in the long run it will do much worse than good and we will be better off without it.

The Mac n Cheese disaster

It’s surprising how much one can forget about cooking in just a year’s time. I was never fond of cooking. I learnt it with much effort when I was in class 11 and that too only basic. I used to cook for my grandma till she was there and also some weird dishes for myself and my sister which only we could eat and enjoy. So today, since my sister was leaving for her internship, I thought of cooking one of our favourites, macaroni and cheese. It was a well planned breakfast since I had got the ingredients yesterday.
So, I proceeded as follows:

Put macaroni (around 150 gms) to boil in a pan.
In another pan, heat some oil and sauté diced onions (4 in no.) and one capsicum.
Add 6 tablespoons of tomato puree and 2 grated cheese cubes to the sautéed vegetables.
After 5 minutes, add boiled macaroni, cook for 5 minutes, add another grated cheese cube and serve hot.

After it was served and first bite eaten, we realized that I had simply forgotten to put salt and spices. The dish was as bland as paper...maybe even worse.
So, everything was put back on stove and luckily my mom was around to make it edible.
Now, the thing is that my mother thinks I should spend some time in kitchen daily to revive my cooking skills. I tried telling her that it won’t be of much use since I will be back in hostel and forget it all over again. But she isn’t listening. And I think rest of my vacations will be just grate (great? No, I don’t think so).

The summer experience – Part 5

This one is in verse (worse?). Anyways, please bear with me.

It is over but it does not end
I don’t know why they follow this trend
To tie up this trainee in ‘its-a-policy’ fetters
Only because ‘6th June is last date’ is written on her letter

My report has been submitted and approved
My boss has even gone to Shanghai on a second honeymoon
And in spite of my creating such fuss and ado
They still have found no work which I can do

I go and sit and stare at walls everyday
And for all this commuting money I pay!
I feel I should scream aloud that its not fair
But sadly, nobody will notice even if I killed myself in my chair

Well, if a cash rich bank can’t pay stipend on time
I wonder how it manages to even lend a dime!
And for all that CSR shit these corporates do
‘Hey companies, Summer Trainees are PEOPLE too!’