Random Sunday

3 AM – Sleep
9 AM – Wake up with a start because someone is banging the door
9:15 AM – Jump out of the bed realizing its maid who has been banging the door and if she returns you will have to wash all the clothes yourself
9:30 AM – Lie down again because it’s criminal to wake up at 9 AM on a Sunday morning
9:40 AM – After trying to unsuccessfully sleep for the past 10 minutes, start chatting with SK( who is also awake but lying down because we both are equally lazy).
12:10 PM – Plan to go to Green Park Market to eat pizza (fourth Sunday in a row!)
2 PM – Tell SK that if we don’t want to skip lunch (as we had skipped breakfast), we should get up and get ready.
2:10 PM – Start ironing a kurti
2:25 PM – Stop ironing after seeing that even after ironing for fifteen minutes, it is looking as wrinkled as ever
2:26 PM – Convey to SK that (i) I am quite lousy at ironing stuff (ii) Who is going to notice anyway? (iii) I might as well go and rescue my favorite black shirt (which is drying outside in bright sun shine) from fading
2:30 PM – Notice a bee hive right above where shirt is drying (oh come on! Who is afraid of small little bees?)
2: 33 PM – Get stung by a bee. Start hollering.
2:35 PM – Call up my mom, tell her a bee has stung me (yes...yes I am such a baby). She advises onion juice.
2:40 PM – Run down in night suit to the mess to get an onion and apply its juice to the affected area for 10 minutes (believe me, it works like magic)
2:45 PM – SK asks whether we should cancel the plan because maybe I will like to rest after the sting
2:50 PM – Reply that I need to be distracted (because I am a hypochondriac) and the best cure is food (esp. pizza)
3 PM – Go and stand under a shower. Get scalded by the boiling hot water. Think that maybe pizza will cure these 10 % burns too
3:30 PM – Take an auto to go to the market (finally!)
4:00 PM – Get seated and order
4:55 PM – After eating garlic bread, pizza, cold drink and ice-cream, wonder (i) It was not the first time I was eating a pizza (so why was I greedy?) (ii) It was not the last time I was eating a pizza (so why WAS I greedy?) (iii) I should stop day-dreaming about getting thin
5 PM – SK suggests that since we have eaten too much we should roam around a bit
5:10 PM – Go to random shops, walk up and down the market
6:15 PM – Take an auto back to the hostel
6:35 PM – Reach, go to the room and slump on the bed as if we had gone to fight a war
6:45 PM – Realize that we should go and get our clothes from terrace because we don’t want our clothes hanging on trees
7:15 PM – Take a nap
9 PM – Wake up because its dinner time (I always manage to wake up before dinner time)
9:40 PM – Come back from dinner, fill the cooler with water, switch on the laptop.
1 AM (Monday morning...in case you are still reading) – After (net) chatting with sis, reading other blogs, downloading movies (which I will never see), I realize that since I have work on Monday, maybe I should go to sleep.
2:30 AM – Switch off the light after chatting (more of bithcing/gossiping) with SK and PP.
3:00 AM – Fall asleep after telling myself that maybe ten years down the line, when I will be stressed out by my work-life, demanding kids, buying groceries, paying bills and getting old, I will read this post and realize that this was one of the best Sundays that I had spent( even though I had not got my stipend then!)

Night show? I am game...dude!

Lucknow does not have a concept of night shows. Yes, yes there are enough cinema halls that have a ‘9 to 12’ show but hardly any family goes to see it. We all have enough time to catch a movie in the day or wait for weekend. No one is in a hurry in Lucknow – that is the beauty of the city. So here in Delhi the concept of night show never appealed to me. And here night show is a night show...it can start around midnight and end at two or three in morning. I always felt---what the heck! Why don’t we wait for a nice Sunday afternoon to catch a movie? But in Delhi time zone, Sunday afternoon is too little too late (by that time endless movie reviews would have come, inbox would be full about the mails disclosing the secrets of the movie...et al). Third day...noon show! Eek! Who would want to see that? Now I know why not.

Here are the stats:

Yesterday.
One of the hottest nights in Delhi.
Movie: ‘Fanaa’---10:30 PM show
Started at: 11:20 PM
Got over at: 2:30 AM

Verdict:

Don’t worry; I am not going to give you a movie review. What I want to say is that OMG, I really had fun! We ate, stood for an hour inside-but-not-quite-so the hall, watched the movie amid the laughter-therapy squad and oh-I-am-yawning squad, laughed at our own jokes, put our legs up on the seat( well...ok...only I did that), ate popcorn that AG bought us, tried( unsuccessfully) to throw PP out of the car ( well...ok...ok...only I did that), woke up the guard and got in, sat in a circle in the canteen and discussed trivia and finally slept at 4 AM. No babies’ wailed. No cell phones rang. An extremely effective prescription for spending a happy Friday night. And the side effects? Sore legs, sleeping at office (my boss is used to this now, doesn’t wake me up anymore) and of course, this post. It was all worth it.

So, night show? Sounds good to me.

The ultimate rant

Well, this is a meme which everyone seems to be stealing these days. I stole this from www.misszoot.com who stole it from someone else who stole it from someone else who...
Well, the point is you don’t need to be tagged for this and also that anyone is free to steal it from me.

So, here it goes...it’s called the ultimate rant.

I AM: absolutely bored by my summers.
I SAID: PP and SK should join a dating service after they talked about all the relationships going on in college for full two hours and cribbed why they aren’t in one.
I WANT: a digital camera...badly!
I WISH: I was living in hills and studying literature.
I HATE: the fact that I am not getting my meagre stipend on time.
I MISS: Lucknow, sometimes sometimes and sometimes all the time.
I FEAR: falling down the stairs.
I HEAR: gossip, bithcing, etc. 90% of the times I am listening to people( not that I don’t contribute).
I WONDER: why people think what they think about me.
I REGRET: (over) eating too much of pizza last Sunday noon ... my stomach is still hurting.
I AM NOT: getting thin anytime this year!
I DANCE: when I am really forced to...and then also as an obligation.
I SING: aloud... along with songs...when I am alone( we don’t want SK to run away from the hostel,do we?)
I AM NOT ALWAYS: well-dressed and in a mood to talk.
I MADE: the years 1998-2000 living hell for my parents and myself.
I WRITE: with my right hand...still... though I had tried desperately to become a leftie during my teens.
I CONFUSE: myself when I go shopping.
I NEED: some adventure, please.
I SHOULD: day-dream less.
I START: everyday with a big struggle to get out of the bed.
I FINISH: everything at the eleventh hour.
I BELIEVE: what goes around comes around...so don’t really worry about the injustice happening in this world.
I KNOW: a lot of trivia which might never come in use.
ICAN: adjust in most situations and with most people.
I CAN’T: speak and eat simultaneously.
I SEE: a lot of ‘desperate housewives’ these days ( thanks to PP).
I BLOG: because people seldom listen and I hardly speak.
I READ: newspaper everyday.
I AM AROUSED BY: well...well...well...
IT PISSES ME OFF: too much noise when its not required.
I FIND: babies absolutely adorable.
I LIKE: the concept that no one can really know what’s gonna happen tomorrow.
I LOVE: my family...and also dark chocolates( in case you are planning to buy me a gift).

Random muse-2 : Delhi Traffic – An ode

Red light.
After every ten minutes.
For fifteen minutes.

Autos, buses, bikes, cars.
Honks and hooters on war.
The fumes mar.

Strong sun shine.
Beggars whine.
Speeding time.

Cigarettes are smoked.
Perspiration moped.
Hopes are groped.

Green light.
After every fifteen minutes.
For five minutes.

Inch by inch.
First stop, first out.
No classes flout.

From morn till night.
Till the next red light.
Life goes on.

The summer experience -- Part 4

My boss has neglected me for five days in a row. As if I am invisible ... he refuses to acknowledge me. And if I go to him myself this is usually what happens:

Boss (doing something on his laptop and doesn’t look up): “ Yes.”
I: “ Sir, I think I should go early today and consult some books.”
Boss (still looking at his laptop): “ Sit down, Soma, why are you standing?”
I (sit down): “ I was thinking of leaving early today and going to the library.”
Boss (looks up for a nano-second): “ Yes tell me how is your project progressing?”
I (sigh): “ Yes sir that’s what...I need to go to the library to consult some books for the project.”
The phone starts ringing and he talks for some minutes.
Boss: “ Yes Soma why do you want to go to hostel...you have a computer here.”
I: “ Yes sir...no sir.. I don’t want to go to the hostel I want to go to the library.”
Boss: “ Isn’t library in the hostel?”
I : “ No sir, they are quite far.”
Boss ( still engrossed in his laptop) : “ I think you need to be physically present in the office.”
I feel like screaming something weird like....yahoo! that means I can be mentally absent but say meekly, “Ok sir.”
Boss(now he looks up) : “ Yes, go to the library.”
I ( highly confused) : “ Well sir, you said just now...”
Boss: “ I am leaving on 26th May so you submit your report early.”
I: “ ????????”
Boss: “ Lets say May 20th”.
I : “ Very well sir.”


Meer must have had a boss like me when he wrote :

Patta-patta buta-buta haal hamara jaane hain
Jaane na jaane gul hi na jaane ...
...Baag to saara jaane hai

Why I am so very weird when it comes to public transport

I don’t know when and why I developed a soft corner for ‘ people-who-drive-public-transport’. They seem to me the most distressed kind, battling the pollution, heat, remembering all the roads and what not. I hate negotiating with poor auto drivers (even if I know that they might drink up all my money and beat their wives at the end of the day). When they ask for Rs. 25, I give them Rs. 25. No ifs, no buts...just give them the money. Sometimes I think I am weird (ya...ya...I know you agree) and try to change my behaviour. Like I did today. This morning I thought I would be this cold and rude person who will not melt down at the sight of those poor ‘auto-wallas’. I engaged an auto for Rs. 25 to which he reluctantly agreed. After dropping me, he started begging for Rs. 5 more. I said “ NO”. He said, “ Madam, meri rozi-roti ka sawal hai. Gareeb ke pet pe laat naa maro.” I was bold enough at that time to walk-off from there but have been feeling really guilty since then. Images of poor auto-wallas starving to death have been haunting me whole day. I guess I am really just too weird.

The summer experience -- Part 3

Well, this had to happen one day or the other. Somethings are just inevitable...and had it not been tragic, humiliating and embarrassing all rolled in one, it would certainly have been really funny.
Just picture this scene in your mind....
I was sitting at my desk and when I dozed off I neither remember nor could control.
After some time, I feel someone is tapping my shoulder...
I wake up with a start, only to find my boss standing on my head and asking in a sugary voice, “ Are you feeling alright?”
I was too groggy from my slumber to give an instant reply. All I could manage to do was to wipe the sleep drooling and sigh.
Soon, all the sugar in my boss’s voice crystallized and fell off for this is what ensued...

Boss: “ I want to see your project report immediately.”
[I mean, is he kidding me, there are 5 weeks left for summers to get over and he wants to see my project report right now! Is he crazy or what!]
Me: “ Sir, the report is in my laptop (an Ariel-white lie)
Boss: “ Show me something at least” and he walks off.
[Luckily, I had few pages of something ready so I went to his desk]
Boss: “ Were you sleeping?”
Oh! What a dumb question! Didn’t he see me sleeping just now?
I thought I would say that I was meditating to improve my efficiency at work but it would have been a bit suicidal.
I: “ Sorry sir, I dozed off.”
Boss: “ I hope you know that you are not supposed to do that at work.”
I: “ Yes sir! I am really sorry”

Well, if the truth was not treated as an excuse in the modern world, I could have told him that the reason I sleep at work is because I live in a hostel that is damn hot and I don’t get to sleep properly at night in the heat and mosquitoes.... But I let it be...

Well, so much for corporate life I guess...
And as for my summers, I have started counting the days with my fingers crossed.

PS: As revenge to all the cruelty meted out to me, I have decided to write all my summers experience (including this one) from the office comp.